Okay, can we just pause for a second? I was scrolling through my phone the other night, half-watching a show I\u2019d already seen, and I stumbled on this random website template page. And I don\u2019t know why, but it got me thinking about all the little \u201ctemplates\u201d we run our lives on without even realizing it. You know what I mean\u2014the default settings we never question. The way we always order the same coffee, take the same route to work, or say \u201cI\u2019m fine\u201d when we\u2019re really not.<\/p>\n
It hit me that we\u2019re all kind of walking around with these invisible scripts, and sometimes it\u2019s worth it to just\u2026 peek behind the curtain. So grab your mug (or your wine, no judgment here), and let\u2019s chat about breaking out of our own personal templates. Because honestly? Life\u2019s too short to keep hitting \u201ccopy and paste\u201d on the same day over and over.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s the thing I\u2019ve noticed about myself: I have this little voice in my head that\u2019s always telling me what I *should* be doing. Not what I want to do, not what feels right\u2014just this nagging, \u201cshould.\u201d You know the drill: \u201cYou should go to that networking event,\u201d \u201cYou should meal prep on Sundays,\u201d \u201cYou should be further along in your career by now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Last month, I actually caught myself doing this. I was standing in my kitchen, staring at a pile of laundry, and I heard that voice say, \u201cYou should fold this right now, and then you should reorganize the pantry, and then you should finally start that blog post you\u2019ve been avoiding.\u201d And I just\u2026 laughed out loud. Because who made up these rules? Who decided that my worth was tied to a perfectly folded fitted sheet?<\/p>\n
So I did something wild. I left the laundry. I sat on the couch with a book and a giant bowl of popcorn, and I didn\u2019t feel guilty about it. And guess what? The world didn\u2019t end. The laundry was still there the next morning, waiting for me like a patient puppy. But I felt lighter. That\u2019s when I realized that so many of our \u201cshoulds\u201d are just borrowed expectations\u2014from social media, from our parents, from that one friend who always seems to have it together. And we get to decide which ones we actually want to keep.<\/p>\n
Here are a few \u201cshoulds\u201d I\u2019ve personally decided to retire:<\/p>\n
You know what\u2019s funny? The original article I was looking at was all about error pages and 404 templates. And at first, I was like, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s a weird thing to write about.\u201d But then it clicked. Those broken links, those dead ends\u2014they\u2019re not failures. They\u2019re just\u2026 detours. And honestly, some of the best moments in my life have come from things not going according to plan.<\/p>\n
Remember that time you showed up to the wrong restaurant for a date? Or when your flight got delayed and you ended up having the best conversation with a stranger at the airport? Or when you tried to bake a cake and it collapsed, but it still tasted amazing with a scoop of ice cream on top? Those are our 404 moments. And they\u2019re not something to be afraid of\u2014they\u2019re something to embrace.<\/p>\n
I have this friend, Sarah, who is the queen of embracing the unexpected. She planned this big vacation to Italy a few years ago, and her luggage got lost. She spent the first two days in Rome wearing the same outfit, washing it in the sink every night. Most people would\u2019ve been furious. But Sarah? She said it was the most freeing trip she ever took. She didn\u2019t have to worry about what to wear, so she just focused on the food, the art, and the people. She found this tiny little trattoria off the beaten path because she had to go buy a cheap t-shirt, and it became her favorite memory.<\/p>\n
So here\u2019s my challenge to you: the next time life throws you a \u201c404,\u201d don\u2019t panic. Don\u2019t immediately try to fix it or get back on track. Just take a breath and see where the detour leads. Maybe it\u2019s a new hobby. Maybe it\u2019s a quiet afternoon you didn\u2019t plan for. Maybe it\u2019s just a chance to slow down and notice the little things you usually rush past.<\/p>\n
Okay, so we\u2019ve talked about breaking the \u201cshoulds\u201d and embracing the detours. But what about actually designing the life you want? I\u2019m not talking about vision boards and manifestation journals (though if that\u2019s your thing, go for it!). I\u2019m talking about getting real with yourself about what actually makes you happy.<\/p>\n
For me, that meant admitting that I don\u2019t actually love big, crowded parties. I used to force myself to go because I thought that\u2019s what \u201cfun\u201d looked like. But the truth is, I\u2019d rather have a small dinner with three of my closest friends, where we talk about everything and nothing, and laugh until our stomachs hurt. That\u2019s my template. And once I figured that out, I stopped feeling guilty about saying no to the big events.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s a little exercise I\u2019ve been doing that\u2019s helped me a ton. I call it \u201cThe Three Loves.\u201d Every few months, I sit down and ask myself:<\/p>\n
It sounds simple, but it\u2019s amazing how much clarity you get when you actually write it down. I did this a few months ago and realized I was tolerating a toxic work situation that I had the power to change. And you know what? I changed it. I\u2019m not saying it was easy\u2014it was terrifying, actually\u2014but it was the best decision I\u2019ve made in years.<\/p>\n
We spend so much time customizing our phones, our playlists, our coffee orders. Why not spend that same energy customizing our actual lives? You get to decide what your day looks like, what your friendships look like, what your career looks like. You don\u2019t have to follow the default settings that society handed you. You can write your own code, so to speak.<\/p>\n
And listen, I know this is easier said than done. Some days, you just have to survive. You have to get through the work emails and the school run and the endless to-do list. That\u2019s real life, and I\u2019m not trying to pretend otherwise. But even on those days, you can make one tiny choice that\u2019s just for you. Maybe it\u2019s taking the scenic route home. Maybe it\u2019s calling a friend you haven\u2019t talked to in ages. Maybe it\u2019s just letting yourself have dessert before dinner because, why not?<\/p>\n
At the end of the day, I think that\u2019s what it all comes down to. It\u2019s not about having this perfectly curated life with no glitches or error messages. It\u2019s about being the one who gets to decide what matters. It\u2019s about looking at the broken pieces and seeing potential instead of problems. It\u2019s about realizing that you\u2019re the author of your own story, and you can rewrite any chapter you want.<\/p>\n
So here\u2019s my takeaway, friend: your life isn\u2019t a template. It\u2019s a living, breathing, messy, beautiful thing. And you get to design it however you want. Don\u2019t be afraid to hit \u201cdelete\u201d on the stuff that isn\u2019t working, and don\u2019t be afraid to try something completely new. The only person you need to impress is the one looking back at you in the mirror.<\/p>\n
Now, if you\u2019ll excuse me, I have a date with that book and maybe a second bowl of popcorn. Life\u2019s too short to fold laundry on a Friday night, am I right? \ud83e\udd0d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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