Okay, can we just pause for a second? I was scrolling through my phone the other night, half-watching a show I’d already seen, and I stumbled on this random website template page. And I don’t know why, but it got me thinking about all the little “templates” we run our lives on without even realizing it. You know what I mean—the default settings we never question. The way we always order the same coffee, take the same route to work, or say “I’m fine” when we’re really not.

It hit me that we’re all kind of walking around with these invisible scripts, and sometimes it’s worth it to just… peek behind the curtain. So grab your mug (or your wine, no judgment here), and let’s chat about breaking out of our own personal templates. Because honestly? Life’s too short to keep hitting “copy and paste” on the same day over and over.

The “Should” List That’s Running Your Life

Here’s the thing I’ve noticed about myself: I have this little voice in my head that’s always telling me what I *should* be doing. Not what I want to do, not what feels right—just this nagging, “should.” You know the drill: “You should go to that networking event,” “You should meal prep on Sundays,” “You should be further along in your career by now.”

Last month, I actually caught myself doing this. I was standing in my kitchen, staring at a pile of laundry, and I heard that voice say, “You should fold this right now, and then you should reorganize the pantry, and then you should finally start that blog post you’ve been avoiding.” And I just… laughed out loud. Because who made up these rules? Who decided that my worth was tied to a perfectly folded fitted sheet?

So I did something wild. I left the laundry. I sat on the couch with a book and a giant bowl of popcorn, and I didn’t feel guilty about it. And guess what? The world didn’t end. The laundry was still there the next morning, waiting for me like a patient puppy. But I felt lighter. That’s when I realized that so many of our “shoulds” are just borrowed expectations—from social media, from our parents, from that one friend who always seems to have it together. And we get to decide which ones we actually want to keep.

Here are a few “shoulds” I’ve personally decided to retire:

• “I should always say yes to plans, even when I’m exhausted.” (Nope. My couch and I have a standing date.)
• “I should have a five-year plan.” (I barely know what I’m doing next weekend, and honestly, that’s okay.)
• “I should look put-together at all times.” (Some days, a messy bun and sweatpants are a full outfit, and I’m proud of it.)

Finding the Beauty in the “Broken” Pages

You know what’s funny? The original article I was looking at was all about error pages and 404 templates. And at first, I was like, “Okay, that’s a weird thing to write about.” But then it clicked. Those broken links, those dead ends—they’re not failures. They’re just… detours. And honestly, some of the best moments in my life have come from things not going according to plan.

Remember that time you showed up to the wrong restaurant for a date? Or when your flight got delayed and you ended up having the best conversation with a stranger at the airport? Or when you tried to bake a cake and it collapsed, but it still tasted amazing with a scoop of ice cream on top? Those are our 404 moments. And they’re not something to be afraid of—they’re something to embrace.

I have this friend, Sarah, who is the queen of embracing the unexpected. She planned this big vacation to Italy a few years ago, and her luggage got lost. She spent the first two days in Rome wearing the same outfit, washing it in the sink every night. Most people would’ve been furious. But Sarah? She said it was the most freeing trip she ever took. She didn’t have to worry about what to wear, so she just focused on the food, the art, and the people. She found this tiny little trattoria off the beaten path because she had to go buy a cheap t-shirt, and it became her favorite memory.

So here’s my challenge to you: the next time life throws you a “404,” don’t panic. Don’t immediately try to fix it or get back on track. Just take a breath and see where the detour leads. Maybe it’s a new hobby. Maybe it’s a quiet afternoon you didn’t plan for. Maybe it’s just a chance to slow down and notice the little things you usually rush past.

Building Your Own Custom Template

Okay, so we’ve talked about breaking the “shoulds” and embracing the detours. But what about actually designing the life you want? I’m not talking about vision boards and manifestation journals (though if that’s your thing, go for it!). I’m talking about getting real with yourself about what actually makes you happy.

For me, that meant admitting that I don’t actually love big, crowded parties. I used to force myself to go because I thought that’s what “fun” looked like. But the truth is, I’d rather have a small dinner with three of my closest friends, where we talk about everything and nothing, and laugh until our stomachs hurt. That’s my template. And once I figured that out, I stopped feeling guilty about saying no to the big events.

Here’s a little exercise I’ve been doing that’s helped me a ton. I call it “The Three Loves.” Every few months, I sit down and ask myself:

• What am I loving right now? (Could be a hobby, a person, a TV show, a food—anything.)
• What am I tolerating that I don’t have to? (This one’s hard, but so important.)
• What am I curious about but haven’t tried yet? (This is where the magic happens.)

It sounds simple, but it’s amazing how much clarity you get when you actually write it down. I did this a few months ago and realized I was tolerating a toxic work situation that I had the power to change. And you know what? I changed it. I’m not saying it was easy—it was terrifying, actually—but it was the best decision I’ve made in years.

We spend so much time customizing our phones, our playlists, our coffee orders. Why not spend that same energy customizing our actual lives? You get to decide what your day looks like, what your friendships look like, what your career looks like. You don’t have to follow the default settings that society handed you. You can write your own code, so to speak.

And listen, I know this is easier said than done. Some days, you just have to survive. You have to get through the work emails and the school run and the endless to-do list. That’s real life, and I’m not trying to pretend otherwise. But even on those days, you can make one tiny choice that’s just for you. Maybe it’s taking the scenic route home. Maybe it’s calling a friend you haven’t talked to in ages. Maybe it’s just letting yourself have dessert before dinner because, why not?

At the end of the day, I think that’s what it all comes down to. It’s not about having this perfectly curated life with no glitches or error messages. It’s about being the one who gets to decide what matters. It’s about looking at the broken pieces and seeing potential instead of problems. It’s about realizing that you’re the author of your own story, and you can rewrite any chapter you want.

So here’s my takeaway, friend: your life isn’t a template. It’s a living, breathing, messy, beautiful thing. And you get to design it however you want. Don’t be afraid to hit “delete” on the stuff that isn’t working, and don’t be afraid to try something completely new. The only person you need to impress is the one looking back at you in the mirror.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with that book and maybe a second bowl of popcorn. Life’s too short to fold laundry on a Friday night, am I right? 🤍