Okay, can we just pause for a second? I was scrolling through my phone the other day, half-watching a show I’d already seen twice, and I caught myself thinking, “When did my life become a checklist of things I *should* be doing instead of things I actually *want* to do?” It’s like somewhere between adulting and pretending to have my life together, I forgot how to just… be. And I know I’m not alone in this, because I see it in my friends’ tired eyes over brunch and in the way we all laugh a little too hard at memes about burnout.

So, I’ve been on this little mission lately. Not a “new year, new me” kind of thing, but more of a gentle nudge to myself to find the joy in the ordinary again. And honestly? It’s been a game-changer. I wanted to share a few things I’ve stumbled on that have genuinely helped me feel a little more like *me* and a little less like a robot running on caffeine and obligation. Grab your coffee (or wine, no judgment here) and let’s chat.

Give Yourself Permission to Be a Beginner (Again)

Okay, this one is huge. I don’t know about you, but I have this weird mental block where I feel like I need to be good at something *immediately* or I just won’t do it. Remember that time I tried to learn guitar in college? I quit after two weeks because my fingers hurt and I couldn’t play “Wonderwall” perfectly. Like, hello, that’s not the point!

So recently, I decided to try something I was guaranteed to be terrible at: pottery. And I mean *terrible*. My first bowl looked less like a bowl and more like a sad, lopsided mushroom that had given up on life. But here’s the thing — for those two hours, I wasn’t thinking about my to-do list or that awkward email I needed to send. I was just focused on the clay spinning between my hands, trying not to poke a hole through the bottom. It was messy, it was imperfect, and it was honestly the most fun I’ve had in months.

So my little tip for you? Find something that has absolutely zero pressure attached to it. It doesn’t have to be artistic — maybe it’s trying a new hiking trail, attempting a complicated recipe, or even just learning a few phrases in a new language. The goal isn’t to be good. The goal is to remember what it feels like to be curious and a little clumsy. It’s like giving your brain a playground instead of a boardroom.

Schedule “Nothing” Like It’s a Real Appointment

I used to be the queen of filling every single minute of my day. If I had a free hour, I’d instantly fill it with a workout class, a grocery run, or “quickly” answering emails that could have waited. And then I’d wonder why I felt so drained all the time. Shocking, right? I know.

But a few weeks ago, I had a Sunday where literally everything fell through. My friend cancelled our lunch, the farmer’s market was closed, and I was just… stuck at home with no plans. I panicked for a solid ten minutes. Then I decided to lean into it. I put my phone on silent, made a giant mug of chamomile tea, and just sat on my balcony watching the clouds. No podcast, no book, no “productive” activity. Just me and my thoughts. It felt weirdly uncomfortable at first, like I was forgetting to do something important. But after about twenty minutes, I felt this wave of calm wash over me that I hadn’t felt in ages.

Now, I’m not saying you need to meditate for an hour every day (I’m not that evolved). But I *am* saying that we all need to carve out a little “nothing” time. It can be as simple as:

• Taking a slow shower without rushing to get out
• Sitting in your car for five minutes before going inside, just breathing
• Staring out the window during your commute instead of scrolling
• Lying on the floor in your living room listening to your favorite album (yes, really)

Think of it like a mini-vacation for your nervous system. You don’t have to be “on” all the time. The world will still spin if you take a beat to just exist.

Reconnect With Your Inner “Silly”

When did we all get so serious? I swear, somewhere around age 25, I traded in my goofy laugh for a polite chuckle and my spontaneous dance moves for a subtle head nod. It’s like I forgot that being playful is actually a superpower, not a sign of immaturity.

I had a moment last week that reminded me of this. I was walking my dog, and this little kid on a scooter zoomed past me, laughing hysterically at absolutely nothing. Just pure, unadulterated joy. And I caught myself smiling, and then I thought, “Wait, when was the last time I laughed like that?” It was honestly a little sad.

So, I’ve made a conscious effort to be more playful. For me, that means dancing in my kitchen while I cook (even if I look ridiculous), singing at the top of my lungs in the car (even at red lights — sorry, strangers), and allowing myself to get genuinely excited about things like a new flavor of La Croix or a really good sunset. It sounds so silly to even type out, but letting yourself be a little ridiculous is incredibly freeing. It’s like giving your inner child permission to come out and play again. You don’t have to be a serious adult all the time — that sounds exhausting, honestly.

I’ve also started a little tradition with my best friend where we send each other the ugliest, most unflattering selfies we can take. It’s become this hilarious inside joke that never fails to make me laugh, even on my worst days. Find your version of that. It’s the small, silly things that really keep us connected to the people we love and to ourselves.

So here’s my heartfelt takeaway from all this rambling: life is just a collection of moments, and we’re the ones who get to decide how we show up for them. It’s so easy to get caught up in the hustle and the shoulds and the “what will people think” that we forget to actually live. But I’m learning that joy isn’t this big, elusive destination. It’s in the messy pottery, the quiet Sunday afternoons, and the silly dance parties in your kitchen. It’s about giving yourself grace to be imperfect and the freedom to find delight in the most unexpected places. So go ahead, be a beginner, schedule some nothing, and don’t be afraid to be a little silly. You might just find yourself smiling a whole lot more. 🤍